The Ten

Reviews for David Wain's The Ten are scattered across the map like gulags. But, while nearly every critic warns audiences that the film is bound to be an exercise in love/hate, the reviews themselves never veer into those extremes: at Metacritic, the highest rating is an 83 and the lowest a 25. And, in case you think it's a matter of high-brow versus low-brow, the respective high and low marks are set by Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide! The average, befittingly, is a dead-on 50.

What's this mean? Perhaps that the film, which wears its "edginess" on its sleeve, isn't all that edgy.


The Ten is comprised of ten short films narrated together by Paul Rudd in a black void. Each short is a comic riff on one of the Ten Commandments. In essence, then, the film is a series of short sketches that try to make you laugh as much as possible. If one doesn't tickle your funny bone, it's over soon and you can try again. I'm sure the filmmakers had Monty Python in mind. A lofty goal, indeed, and a failure on those terms, but that doesn't necessarily mean The Ten isn't funny on other ones.


That's Jesus in above still. He's Mexican, yes, but he's also that Jesus. For a meager living, he carves—and later sells—prosthetic limbs. During the summer, he falls in love with a nerdy American librarian who has come to visit his village (or is it has visited his village to come?), which happens to postpone the apocalypse.

At times, this particular skit also goes silent and a Spanish voice begins to narrate. Is it funny to hear a man say va-h-ina three times in a row? You don't have to answer out loud...


In another skit, two suburban neighbours compete over who can buy the most CatScan machines. Understandably, this leads to much marital strife, and an absurdly funny situation that involves a bunch of elementary schoolers rolling around a lawn, dying from radiation poisoning. It's complicated. I can't explain.


If this all sounds astoundingly stupid and nonsensical, it probably is. But what sets The Ten apart from most other astoundingly stupid and nonsensical comedies is that, despite being a "writer's movie", it has a great sense of visuals. Quite often, the image is what makes the joke—whether in tune with the words or as a separate lampoon of established film conventions. Also commendable is the pace with which the film zips along. You may hate the stories it tells, but The Ten tells them with a concise precision that deserves at least a tip of the hat.


Now, here's something I never thought I'd see: Winona Ryder falling in love with a ventriloquist's dummy. Again, I'm not sure what exactly makes it funny or what the hell it really means, but the send-up of romance genre conventions is startlingly good!


If I said the scene was also erotic, you'd think I'm weird, wouldn't you? Not that I thought it was erotic...

For the sake of scientific research, I wonder if I'll get extra hits on this review if I include terms like: naked wynona rider sex dummy porn ventriloquist wood.


I'm not even going to try to explain this one. I'll just say it's zany and musical and full of naked men on Sunday. Indicative of much of the rest of the film, it's hard to describe in words—and possibly only because it's overwhelmingly juvenile and moronic. In fact, thinking back, I truly have no justifiable explanation for why The Ten made me laugh. I only have my humble excuse: it had been a long day, I was tired...